Big Smiles For Mama

I'm just here to post pictures

2011-11-04T18:42:00.000-07:00

I'm passing thru, and not kicking myself too much for posting all the time. Life changes and all that, ya know. But yet I miss blogging, and feel that I should at least say hello!

Quickie update- Engagement fraught with challenges, attitude adjustments on both parts, and serious compromise. The wedding took away much tension and anxiety, and I can happily say I enjoy being married. Now- he's working his little butt off, and I am doing the stay at home mom thing while I look for work. Our son is growing and we are seeing what a little smarty pants he is.

Also? I'm scared to brag cause what if the stuff he does isn't so extraordinary? It's all amazing milestones to us, so I revel in it all. Like on a recent visit to the library, he walks over to the children's area mat to Blue Horse (from Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?) and yells, "Blue Horse!" See, my kid is a genius ;) I know it's just association, but still...pretty cool to watch him do this stuff all.the.time. now.

Alright time to plaster this blog with more pics! Get ready, here they come! Oh yeah, I have been delving HEAVILY into my love of photography and tweaking everything in Lightroom, including my wedding pics (my bro was my photographer)

Happy Fall :)

The To-do list keeps growing

2011-07-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I've had it pretty easy with the wedding planning. The hotel I chose for the reception has an awesome wedding coordinator and he's been handling so much of the plans. I love it. I have been able to sit back and smile, knowing someone else other than myself has ordered blue organza fabric for the chairs. Such a lovely contrast to my first wedding, where I planned my entire outdoor wedding from scratch in 1 month. My military husband to be was out to sea, and returned two days before our wedding. It was pure stress. I absolutely did not want to repeat my past with my second wedding.

Now, I'm hitting the detail point. Everything on my wedding addled mind is put in extensive lists. Little things to do like buy translucent face powder to set my wanna be waterproof makeup. Shoes that match my dress better than the ones I first picked out. Ordering Maid of Honor and Best man gifts, securing the wedding location (I am currently "penciled in" with the local parks and recreation dept.) cause I am, ahem, getting married outdoors again (I will repeat the past with an outdoor wedding, cause I love them and J and I had our first kiss on the top of this mountain).

You see, lots of little yet important things to do. Best of all? We are finally getting my wedding ring this Saturday! After his job change and all that, the ring got pushed to the back burner. Since I don't want to pull a Brittney and buy my own wedding ring, and he has no desire to act like Kevin Federline, I told myself a ring can wait, as long as I get one by the wedding day. And you know what's nuts about me? I totally love Pawn shops. I love the estate jewelery, to be precise. I love the history behind each piece and I know a few stores I want to check out. Saturday, I can't wait for you to get here.

Summer weekends= Weddings

2011-07-18T17:31:00.000-07:00

My very good friend of 10 years got married this weekend. While I don't know his new wife very well, I am so extremely happy for them. He's 30 and takes his time making good choices so I'm sure he picked the right girl. The wedding was fun, on the waterfront, and involved lots of dancing! I took clues from it to help with my wedding planning (our venues are similar) and even better, it was J's first ever time at a wedding. Can you believe that? The guy is 33 and his first ever time as a guest at a wedding is with me. For some reason, the sap in me thinks that is very sweet. He said he'd take notes for our own wedding. Our own wedding in one month and one week, really.

This means, I'm starting my diet from scratch. As of today. Check it out, this is my new beginning point (and not a bad pic to be starting from, I think)

I love sunless tanner and makeup. The heels didn't last long cause I brought flats to dance in.

The lovely fiance was already tired of my picture taking when I sabotaged him with this one.

Ok, I see this and I see me trying to disguise a double chin. My absolute number one goal- drop weight so I can see it in my neck. Even old pics of post pregnancy were thinner in the face. What is up with the re-allocation of fat across my body? I swear the fat transferred off my boobs and onto my neck.

Anyways, a refreshed start for me (I exercised today!) and wishes and blessings to the happy couple.

They are so stinkin cute. Disgusting. We'll be following in their footsteps very very soon.

Truth

2011-07-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

Measurements:

Weight 200.5

Hips 44.5

Waist 37 (sometimes 36.5)

Chest 43

Thighs 25.25

Arms 12.75

Neck 14.25

These have been relatively standard numbers over the last month. I'm kinda proud of myself for that. I mean, I didn't put back on all the 10 pounds that I lost! I started this in April and now it's July. To be honest, I put back on 2 pounds and I am feeling puffy so I think it's water weight. Seems if I pig out one day then drink lots of water the next, the numbers float up, then come back down. So my thinking is, don't pig out, but do your diet and drink water, the numbers will come down! Yay basic logic right? The fun part is doing and sticking with it. I totally am capable of this. I have been good at stabilizing now I will get good at subtracting numbers. Wedding is in 6 weeks!

The plan. Eat Medifast, get a walk in 3x a week. Drink copious amounts of water. Have one cheat if absolutely dying, then move on. Don't get stuck in the "it was only one donut hole, i can have a snack size back of cheetos to really have a cheat" kind of mindset. FYI I'm pretty sure the whole Medifast plan doesn't advocate a cheat.That's just my way of not wanting to kill others around me when i go all nuts from not having processed sugar. I'm thinking its like when you don't drink soda for a while- you have the craving, you drink water instead, deal with it for a few days, then before you know it you don't want Dr. Pepper. When you have it a month later, it tastes like the weirdest prune juice ever, and you realize it is a weird thing to get addicted to. Problem comes when you continue to drink it anyway, then what do you know, you are back on the soda habit.

Nice to suddenly realize I have an addiction. Geeeeze.

Well today is what is now and I can control what I eat today. I started off with morning coffee (I love my Kreuig with a little milk) and a Medifast Peanut Butter Bar. Lunch will probably be a Medifast soup, some ice tea, and a little cheese. I 'll have the honey mustard pretzel snack, then dinner will be steamed veggies and baked chicken. Desert will be the browine with a little peaunt butter on top. Did I mention water? I really should drink that. I like water; I like plain ol regular Arrowhead or whatever bottled water we have on hand and I don't mind drinking it, it's just that I've been downing sun tea like nothing else. mmmm tea. Alright, it's time to get this day started. Good luck to you and your weight loss!

Going off like fireworks

2011-07-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

The 4th of July was amazing. We had a blowout at our house to celebrate many things. We celebrated the fact we are still able to pay rent (thank God) with J's new job. His industry is tiny and he's got a lot of contacts and was able to get himself a short-term consulting job. It may turn into long term. We will see. Right now, I'm just super happy the man has a job. And that his phone isn't ringing at all hours of the day and night. He's been home around 7pm, instead of 10. Horray!

We celebrated our close friends and family with lots of craziness and laughter. When you open your relatively small home to 30 guests and let the kids run wild, it gets a little nutty. And fun. With lots to clean. I think I'm good with the party host role, but we don't need to go there again for a few more months ;).

Pulling the blankie over my head

2011-06-27T01:32:00.001-07:00

So this is the place where I come to moan about weight loss once a week it seems. Hmmm I'm not ok with that. I have happy every day life going on I swear. Except for the times when life throws you the curve ball. I will complain. Like today, when J lost his job. We'll be ok, but times like this get stressful. I ate a little with the emotional eating trigger, I won't lie. Tomorrow I'm supposed to meet with a new group for a work out boot-camp. Honestly with the current situation, I don't feel like going. We've got errands to run. Trying to figure out the next step to take....can I crawl back in bed?

Sickly Father's Day Weekend

2011-06-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

Mom, Dad, and baby all sick this weekend. This hasn't happened for a year. You know what? It wasn't all bad. Sometimes being cocooned in your little world is nice. We kept it low key and stayed in the whole time, ordering yummy food like Pizza and Thai (2 separate nights). While the baby napped for 4 straight hours, we got in some quality video game time together. When he woke he shrieked in happiness to Blue's Clues. Since my mom's dog Maggie was visiting with us again, she provided entertainment for Jake. He chased her around and she let him just hug her and love on her. I did the minimum of housework and we just lazed around. J seemed to mentally step away from work and it was nice not to have his phone ring off the hook.

I didn't think too much about my daddy. I know where he is and I will see him again. It's been a little over a year. I cried over him a few days ago, and saved Father's day for celebrating with my son and his Father. If that sounds a little callused, know that I do feel like crying about dad right now (I hate when talking about something makes you think about it, and brings up emotions you were trying to stuff down).

Ok, different topic- weight loss- har har. I drank so much fluid I think I flushed out all toxins. My weight climbed to a puffy 204 the other day, now it made it's way back to 200. TOM + sicky = I don't really care. I am still feeling puffy, but I'll drink more water and eat a Medifast soup and tomorrow should be different.

Now, we are back to regular life. I'm gonna take the luxury of another hour of sleep (cause Jake woke 7 times and fell out of his bed 3 times last night! Poor little guy. I don't know if he was having nightmares or what, but I put pillows on the floor on that second fall). Then I get to whip my motivation into shape and go into work. It's a beautiful day outside, and regular life is calling.

I did it! I broke the barrier.

2011-06-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

For the last year, my barrier has been the 200 pound marker. Well, a few days ago I broke it and got to 198.6! Even better- I've stayed below 200 for the last few days (even with a couple weekend cheats). I've been working out a little more and my appetite has been shrinking.

I love feeling progress! My new main goal is to work out my back and my arms now. I had my wedding dress fitting, and the bustier under my dress is a little tight. Tight = back fat = ew. The seamstress even pointed it out, and told me that they can get me a bigger size bustier if I don't drop enough weight. Cool. Good to have a back up option. Even still, I view it as motivation to become a weight-lifting, push-up doing beast.

Today more Medifast arrived at my door. I'm looking forward to browines and chili!

Pimping myself out

2011-06-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

I am taking a shot in the dark- most of those that read this blog don't live in my town. However, I'm looking for a little critique (and hey if you have relatives that live near me and need a haircut send them my way).
check out my business blog and if you feel like it, send me some feedback :). comments are great!

Working for it

2011-06-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

I yo yo. Call it laziness, lack of commitment, whatever you want. However, I am quite good at staying in a 5 lb range when I put my mind to it. Since I began my Medifast "I'm gonna drop 40 lbs by my August wedding!" cry, I've lost 9lbs.

Its like this:
1st week on Medifast- loose 8lbs.
2nd week. Maintain loss
3rd week. Slip a little
4th week-loose the weight I gained when slipping. Now I'm back to where I was at the end of week 1.

I currently stand at 200 solid pounds. My pants fit better. I am at a solid size 14. My personal victory on Sunday was fitting comfortably into jeans with no stretchy material to them. Old school, straight cotton jeans from Kohls. I wore them happily all day while I ate delicious food at a bbq we hosted. Then I vowed, its' time to get serious!

I have a wedding dress fitting today, and I know I the dress needs to be taken in cause that baby is loose! My goal- to make today's fitting need another fitting come July. I want that dress to be taken in again!
I can do it I can do it I feel like the little engine that could ;)

Baby to Toddler bedroom makeover Part 1

2011-06-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

When we moved into a rental house with white walls, my first question to the landlord was, "Can we paint?" Last night Jake's walls were covered in a lovely coat of Glidden Pool Party.

The first day in our house (minus crib, storage, toys)

Today, I touch up the white base trim and ceiling. I've got to find an espresso/cherry mix to paint this Ikea closet we have. Funny thing about this house- no closets-at all! Off to Home Depot I go :)

Weight loss while Camping

2011-05-31T16:08:00.000-07:00

I think everyone should go camping with a toddler. It's an interesting time, and you will be moving a lot, so it's great exercise. Enough so that I lost 2 lbs while eating hot dogs and pudding snacks (offhand, it's time to order more Medifast cause I'm running low). Best part was it was baby's first camping trip. He had a blasty-blast and we will be going again for sure.

The river that runs through the campground was up this year, and the inner tubes were out. We rented one and took turns watching the baby so we could go tubbing down the river. How chicken am I? Lets just say that every little waterfall with tons of rocks jutting out caused me to climb out, and get back in further down where the water was calm. I spent most of my time climbing in and out of a little river laden with rocks and sandbars. Then I stopped short on a sandbar, grinding my shorts-clad butt into the rocks. In front of a big group of guys about 20 years old. They looked at me, and ooooohed "Oh, too big." I quietly kept my dignity and climbed out of the water and hiked back to the camp with tube over one shoulder.

It sucks, and yeah maybe I am too big at the moment, but in reality the only people not getting stuck at that part of the river were skinny 13 year olds laying flat on their inner tubes. But hey, I can use it as motivation, right?

Anyway, dochey guys aside, we had fun. Check out the cuteness.

Then it rained Sunday morning and our tent started to flood. Jake was confined to the playpen and we packed up and abandoned ship. Got home safe and I gotta say, it was so lovely to come home, flop down in a big comfy bed and nap. The 3 of us hung around the house all day. Great Memorial Day weekend. Hope yours was fun!

Making progress and cheating

2011-05-23T13:54:00.000-07:00

Ok- It's been an up and down week, but primarily filled with Ups!

Jake is always an Up! Plus, holding your child in front of you is the most awesome pose for hiding a belly.

Sucking it in a little...hey, not too bad looking! Other than the fact I need to fix my weird looking ponytail.

Ups:

I did push ups. Full on, regular push ups. My arms are looking less flabby.
I feel healthier and stronger
I drank more water
The 4 pounds I gained back went away
Water washes away last nights sins

Downs:

Late night snacks. Like at 2 am when I'm staying up playing video games with my man cause he worked super late and needs to unwind.
Beer. Need I say more? Sam Adams Summer Ale was worth it. I only had 2, so I won't beat myself up.
The willingness to cheat! I get to screaming in my head if I deny myself a piece of bread. So I eat one, and I stop there.

All in all, I am feeling like I can rock this weight loss. I eat awesome food like this every now and again, then eat Medifast the rest of the time. FYI, this is totally off plan.

You are looking at smoked ham, Chile Relleno, scrambled eggs, potatoes with peppers and cheese. Cilantro garnish. I figure it's the weekend, and someone decided to cook a special meal, who am I to turn that down? ;)

Rainy day mornings

2011-05-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

Rare for us, and today, very enjoyable

Daddy getting up early so I can sleep just a little longer
Baby curling up on the couch next to me with a book
Blues Clues on in the background
Coffee

and the afternoon? Great enough to enjoy time outside, and throw a toy for the doggie. Jake is learning to throw Maggie her toy tire

Life is good. Enjoy your day!

What does weight loss look like?

2011-05-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Like a slightly flatter tummy...

and a less lumpy neck. I swear that is my #1 motivation for weight loss. I don't need to see 3 chins when I smile at camera. Gross. And don't mind the fiance's sweats- they are pretty comfy if not the most flattering.

I've made progress mostly in figuring out what my body is telling me. Mainly, my body shuts down and gives me massive headaches if I substitute protein for salt or sugar. Example- last night. It's that lovely TOM and I just wanted SALT with a passion. I was getting pretty grumpy and J was making a run to the store for milk. Did I want anything? Yes, I want some Ruffles Sour cream and chive potato chips but dammit I can't have any. I'll be good, don't get me anything. What did that man come home with? I big ol bag of the chips. I decided he was showing love and not trying to sabotage me. Half the day I thought ooooh he loves me! Plus, he ate half the bag. I ate enough to give me a headache.

Lesson learned- indulge a little now and then, but DUH! Don't eat to the point of sickness! My diet isn't heavy in salt or sugar, so these little side trips are messing up my body. I'm re-learning what I can and can't eat (that won't make me sick). Better yet, sticking to my diet equals the best results. Where can I buy some willpower?

Fat pants day

2011-05-10T18:11:00.000-07:00

In 8 days I lost 8 lbs. It's pretty amazing and I'm seeing results all over my body. Half an inch down on my waist, chest, thighs, and 1 inch on my hips. I'd post pics but, uh, I gave my self little food "reward". Banana cream pie. From Claim Jumpers. It was from Mother's Day dinner. And my self control to only eat one piece went out the window. I'm sitting here with a super puffy tummy.

In light of today's binge this is how I feel - other than shamefaced- is Tired. Sluggish. Ugh. All that sugar hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been doing so well that an influx of pie made my system yell "Woman, WTF?? Seriously lady!!!" I'm gonna go back to listening to my body- it seems to work better that way.

Mother's Day

2011-05-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

Bee Curious in Pacific Beach for Breakfast....

Check out the new lower tooth that is finally in...

Pretty colors on a gloomy morning

Walk around the Point Loma lighthouse

and take plenty of pictures even though we get rained on. :)

Death is just another part of life...

2011-05-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks Momma in Forrest Gump. I've had that quote in my head since 1994. Ever since that scene where she's lying in bed and saying, "Ahm dhying Forrest" (sorry for the lame phonetic spelling, but hey you get the accent).

So today is the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death. I'm trying to look at it in a different way. His birthday was July 28. I might start thinking of that instead as the anniversary of his life. I gotta tell you, during the last few weeks, the sadness periodically creeps up on me. We were out for a drive a couple weekends ago, and we drove near the cemetery where he has a memorial plaque (he was cremated). I was driving and powerful sobs started racking my body. I just started wailing. My fiance freaked and said what's going on? Pull over! He had no clue why I was bawling.

Today, I am a little better. I've had a couple more break downs (one last night) and crying really does help. I have a feeling if my dad were alive he'd laugh, pat me on the back, and tell a stupid joke to get me to quit crying. I miss him so much.

The very first picture I ever took was of my dad. He showed me how to use the Polaroid. Circa 1985

Oh man, does my blog look outdated!

2011-05-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

Been cruising around a few other blogs and I am seeing what I like- clean, crisp, uncluttered design. I created this one all by my lonesome-background and header included-and I totally need a revamp.

Any great ideas? Any links to sites (even your own!) that have design that you love? I'm gathering ideas and feedback is helpful :)

Weekends are for Date night! and um, easter candy

2011-05-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Weight -

Down 5 lbs! In 5 days. Yaaaaaay!

Well, what did i eat. Medifast during the day, then I went to a birthday bbq. I kept it under control with 3 ribs and a small salad, light dressing. The trouble ensued when we got home cause it was a date night! Yes my mom so kindly took the kiddo overnight. It was his second night with her and they had a blast playing with the dogs and going to church in the morning.

We indulged while Jakey was gone- loud music, having 1 a few drinks and some chocolates, and singing at the top of our lungs. When I weighed myself in the morning, I was up 1 pound to 204.7. I expected it.

Sunday followed with water and a bar for breakfast. Then, since we were out and about picking up Jake, we stopped for lunch. The child loves eggs and pancakes, so we found Bob's Big Boy. I started to order a cobb salad, but got sidetracked with multigrain pancakes and fruit. I justified it with no syrup and didn't eat the whole plateful. Dinner was another bar (they really are good- and I'm a creature of habit).

crappy photo, but its' Bob's Big Boy! He's awesome.

I swore I saw my belly getting shrinky in the mirror. Then I climbed on the scale this morning. 203.8! I can do this (without taking too many bites of the easter bunny ears).

I've lost 3 pounds

2011-04-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

In one day. I'm guessing a lot of it is water weight, but hey I don't mind :). Yesterday consisted of drinking a gallon of water, and following my new diet:

Morning- Protein bar
Mid morning- Oatmeal
Lunch-another bar
Mid Afternoon- pretzel snack
Dinner- 4oz baked chicken, 1 cup green bean. I snuck in 2 mushrooms and half a banana.
Dessert- Brownie.

The crazy thing at the end of the day? I was full. Utterly, completely FULL. I only ate half of my dessert. There might be something wrong with me ;).

Honestly, if I keep up like this I will be dropping weight in no time!

In the beginning there was...Medifast

2011-04-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

Time to start all over. Today is my first day of Medifast, and what follows is the humiliation of chunky pics. Hopefully to be followed with skinny pics, soon.

We begin at the beginning- post pregnancy...

Just a couple months post pregnancy. Not too bad, really. I thought I looked sooooo huge. About 203 lbs. Jake was probably 2-3 months old. And I was breast feeding at the time.

and..fast forward...

I had to stop breast feeding soon after this cause I was going back to work and honestly barely making any milk so we switched to formula. I gained weight.

..Present day. The end of April, 2011. My son is now 18 months. Time to get on the stability ball!

208 lbs.

This last pic is cause I'm a dork. And I'm being all bouncy. Lets do a quick compare contrast review:

craziness. aprox 200 lbs on the left and 208 on the right

so uh, I think I'll put in that 2 mile walk today

Medifast is here!!!

2011-04-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

I did the happy dance when I saw that big box of food sitting on my doorstep. Good for me food. Help me loose weight food. So with that, the diet and before and after pics start tomorrow.

Tonight, I live it up with food. Pizza delivery man is on his way. mmmm cheese ravioli :)

One and a half years....

2011-04-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

It's been this long- time is flying

Getting so big, and learning to brush your hair

You call out "More" for food

You love to play with Daddy

You are reaching for things you are not supposed to play with,

like the plunger behind the toilet.

We still wrestle and play. You don't bite my nose anymore,

now you grab my neck

Doggie

and monkey

Your two best friends

I love you with all my heart. Happy 1 1/2 years baby boy

Dude it's time.

2011-04-15T15:38:00.000-07:00

After an extremely heavy and piggy lunch at McDonalds, I am ready to take the full-on weight loss plunge. I'm craving a nap and my stomach is bulging over my pants more than normal. Not digging it.

I'm thinking very hard about Medifast. I need not only a diet, but a diet/lifestyle makeover. I want someone to tell me what to eat and put it in front of me and say "Deal with it- you will loose if you stick to this." I think Medifast will fit that bill. Nutrisystem is another option. I am currently enrolled online in Weight Watchers, but it doesn't send me food and I'm just not sticking with it.

My main issue is meal planning. Quite simply, I have a hard time with it. What do I eat that has my nutrition and taste all in one meal? My hope is that, after the food being delivered to me, I will re-learn my nutrition and then be able to plan meals off of my newfound good-for-me-food knowledge.

Any suggestions? I need a kick in the pants, big time

Early signs of the Two's

2011-04-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

Don't let the angelic looks fool you.

I'm talking of the Terrible. The ugly, embarrassing. The face-first on the floor tantrums. Whine till I get my way fussiness.

I distract him, ignore the bad behavior, praise the good; sometimes let him fuss if he bonks his head under the desk cause he KNOWS that area next to the computer is OFF LIMITS.

There are some days I just want a cold beer after his bed time.

It's been a while...and now Love is back to stay

2011-02-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

So I've been MIA for quite a while. Adjusting to the single parent life, trying to work my tail off and not pull my hair out. Sometimes I've wished for the dual parent household just for the fact that there is someone there who just GETS it. Living with the Mom has been great, but she's getting antsy to live on her own and frankly so am I.

And I started to wonder, wow, if I could just live with my son's father who is completely amazing, things might just be easier. Then, we started to TALK. I mean, like, relationship talk. He truly missed me, and having our son day and night. So I got direct with him. I laid out what I wanted in a relationship. Never mind what he could or could not be capable of or even provide. I gave him my wants and needs list. On this list are things like Affection, Not feeling taken for granted, Going on dates, etc... Then, I handed him our son and said, gotta go, I've got a date at 8. See you tomorrow!

Guess what happened the next day? He wanted to talk. More. About the future. And then came the butterflies that knew something was up. We talked....and I voiced my concerns about his ability to not bail when times got hard. I don't want to break up if we get back together. So he left no room to break up. No room to fail. Time to commit, or just let go.

He got down on one knee. I shook. He said he hadn't been to the store yet. I still had no clue what was going on, but the shakies kicked in. All I could think was OMG...

Then he asked what he never had before asked...those beautiful words, "Will you marry me?"
The instant answer that fell out my mouth was a happy YES!

I just got my family back.

Hi guys

2010-06-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm alive. Been spending crazy amounts of time on Facebook without much of a desire to blog. You get inspired to write, then the inspiration passes and you'd rather flirt with a guy on FB Chat. Which makes me wonder- hmm do I want to share all of my life in a blog? I am a single mom now and started dating again (big ol' FAIL)....but I dunno. I've yet to figure these things out. Plus I want to re-design my blog things again :) So for now I leave it vague and with some baby cuteness!

Jacob is now a whopping 8 months old

He's not crawling just yet, but scoots backward with ninja stealth.

We'll check back here to make changes soon!

Oh so tempting

2010-05-27T22:26:00.000-07:00

I could have done it; I really could. I could have done what I would have if I was 15 and didn't know anything about my parents' finances. Soooo could have milked out a new camera. Sadly age has given me more integrity. Found the camera, burried in the diaper bag between diapers. And the first thought that crossed my mind was YAAAYY!

The second thought was hmmmmm....I did drop it a couple weeks ago and it landed on the lens as it was in zoom. The screen then read 'Lens Distorition' and I really had to tweak the thing to get it back in properly. It works fine now. And so I slid into the den and said to my mom "Hey guess what I found!"

I guess this means I'm a grown up now. Boo.
On the plus side, I have ooddles of new pics of Jake. Yay!

This new first tooth is weirding him out. He's constantly chomping and touching it with his tounge. I believe a second tooth is on the way.

Getting up on his knees now.

More to come later...

Bye bye right arm!

2010-05-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

My mom cut it off! Ok, that's a tad bit dramatic but I'm feeling like part of me is missing...that part would be my camera. During the crazy cleaning that ensued getting the house ready for funeral guests, Mom misplaced the camera. We've hunted high and low to no avail.

Its crazy how addicted you get to taking pics of the kid when you see a total Kodak moment and feel remorse. Maybe this will be good for me and help me to apprecitate the moment more. I'm digging out my visual memory skills and trying to mentally photograph things. Like a 1 tooth smile or Jake trying to pull himself up on the furniture. Thankfully he isn't crawling yet because I will scream bloody murder if I miss photos of that.

I've been promised a new toy soon (and like my inner 5 year old, my 33 year old self wants to milk this for all its worth...Mommy can I have that expensive, shiny, new camera? Ha ha NO I can't.) So I sit and wait impatiently; trying to grow up and know I will get my arm back soon.

Feels like Forevah!

2010-05-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have been a million miles away, and I'm now returning to earth. Dad's passing rocked us, and we are all starting to recover. Isn't that old pic rad? Soooo in the 80's; I think I was 8 here. And trying to be like my mom. We had the funeral this weekend, and every single "real" friend he ever had was there. It was completely awesome. My dad kept his friends for 30+ years, so it was a reunion for all of us. People hugging me who haven't seen me since high school. Old neighbors fawning over Jake and looking happy because he makes us all grin.

I hate to say it, but what a great get together. My dad would have loved it. All of his favorite people in one spot. But, I'm pretty sure that's also how he's feeling about being in Heaven; I'm hoping some of his other favorite people are chatting him up and exploring a new life beyond.

I've continued at my job-how ironic that my new boss lost her father last year to Leukemia- so I was given extra time to grieve and come back to a job. I've found a great daycare that my son loves- he smiles and talks to the babysitter and forgets I even exist. When I pick him up he's happy and talking the car ride home. Awesome! Couldn't ask for better.

Things are good with my son's father- we parent well together and last night I experienced my first night sans baby. It was right after the funeral, and his dad was able to take him overnight. A friend called and offered alcohol, and away I went. And I got sleep! 8 straight hours without having to wake up 3x for whimpers or feedings! Tonight the babe is back and while I may miss sleep, I'm so glad to hold him again. I missed him. He is after all, my little buddy. Now to go play and bathe him before a late bed time.

Good night my friends!

Daddy didn't make it

2010-05-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

After a sudden relapse, my father passed away. Just 3 weeks after completing chemo/radiation. 3 WEEKS. Not months, or years. He passed away peacefully, with his breathing tube removed and on a steady morphine drip, on May 6th at 6:20 pm. Ironically, this was also my grandmother's birthday. All I could think of was death and life. I was holding my beautiful son whom my dad loved dearly, thinking, "I'm SO glad he got to know Jacob."

Jacob, the baby that made him smile even though he was hiding tremendous amounts of pain. Every time we got dressed in the morning, I'd take him into the den where my dad would sit, huddled in a blanket and watching tv. He'd see Jake's smile and light up. I'm so grateful that I could give my dad that enjoyment, that sense of new life, that we have reasons to be joyful.

Even though I will miss my dad everyday for the rest of my life (and what I'm writing here barely touches the surface on what I'm feeling) I know he loved me and the rest of his family with all his heart. Faithful to my mom for 40+ years, and loving, silly dad to my brothers and me, he also made the world's best Grandpa.

For now, I go cause tears are spilling down my face and there's only so much I can handle. This picture is the last one I have of Dad and Jake, and I took it a few days before Easter. I will give this to Jake when he's old enough to appreciate it; it is by far my favorite picture.

I love you Daddy. I'll see you again when we meet in Heaven

Dad is doing some serious battle

2010-05-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

My daddy is battling the after effects of chemo and radiation. He was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer a few months back, and underwent the treatment. Now, his body is so weak and he has a cloudy spot on his lungs, and can't breathe on his own now. The doctors do not know what is wrong. Or how to proceed. So far they've just been able to make him comfortable with sedation.

Last night I visited him in the hospital for the first time. My mom went with and watched Jacob while I went into the Intensive Care unit. That did not look like my dad in the hospital bed. He is intubated with a breathing tube and his hair is falling out. His skin is puffy from fluid buildup. But he was under, and hopefully having good dreams. I cried my eyes out in the corner. This man was so stubborn, walking around on a broken ankle for 2 weeks when I was a kid. He never wanted to burden his family with anything, and now we are all worried for him. I got up the nerve to go over to him and tell him I love him and pray for him constantly. We are just hoping it goes to his subconsious and he can feel the love around him and have good dreams about flying-which he loves to have.

I miss my daddy. 65 is too young to leave us. But we are selfish creatures and if God decides it is time to go to his home in Heaven, then I will have to deal with that. Today we meet with doctors to find out the next step in treatment. They are at a loss as to what to do.

If you are the praying type, will you please say a prayer for my dad?

Hey Mr. DJ

2010-04-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Sadly, a sudden death has occured. The 1st pair of sunglasses, blue Carter's with a puppy on the lens, has bit the dust. When he saw these in the store, he laughed excitedly. Mama had to buy them. Now to outfit his jumperoo with a turntable and speakers.

Oh the Cuteness

2010-04-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

Know when you upload yet another 50 baby pics to Facebook and feel like everyone is getting tired of seeing them? I love coming to my blog and showing my pictures to an appreciative audience.

Jake's first time on the swing

Sitting up for 5+ minutes

Drinking from the Sippy Cup

And training for football

If you're happy and you know it go shopping

2010-04-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

I lost 1.5 lbs and 1/2" off my waist!

I've hurt myself every.single.time I worked out this week. I'm so stiff I need to stretch more! To compensate for that I really cut back on my carb intake. Miracle of miracles I got progress. Now to just keep up with the higher protein intake, sugar cutback and stretch sessions. I'll take Jake for a few more walks.

I went shopping yesterday to get some motivation also. I swear, bathing suits just look evil right now, but soon, they won't!

For your Video Viewing Pleasure

2010-04-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

I am a little behind on posting vids so these are about 2 weeks old.
The first is Jake trying to crawl; the second is his little jittery dance that he does when the mobile plays.
Enjoy

Crawl FAIL

Untitled from Jake's mom on Vimeo.

Crib Dance

Untitled from Jake's mom on Vimeo.

1st time in the Ocean

2010-04-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Ubbies (I feel like going with his nickname today) has been to the beach before, but never in the ocean. Since the weather was a lovely 75 degrees on Sunday, his dad and I decided to take him for his first dip in the water.

As you can see, he loved the water. Love love LOVED it! Even when the wave splashed his belly he didn't even flinch. I've got a little beach bum on my hands. Now to buy an umbrella, and a chair, and we will be all ready for summer!

I made my baby cry

2010-04-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

I changed my hair again. While it was mid-process (aka too dark) my baby looked at me and utterly freaked. It was the middle of the night when I went into our room (I share with Jake and a keep a small light on). He woke, looked at me, and proceeded to spaz.out.completely.

He'd look at me, scrunch up his face, bawl his eyes out, calm down, look at me, repeat. I put him down and wrapped my hair in a towel like a turban. He calmed down instantly. I felt so bad, but I kind of thought it was (gasp, bad mom) funny. I mean, he's already seen me change my hair about 5 times and he always smiles. Guess he didn't like the June-bug green I came to bed with.

I fixed it the next day and he smiled again.

On a side note, I wanted to share the roses in the front yard. Right now they are all in bloom and just gorgeous. Enjoy.

McFatty Re-vamp

2010-04-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life I like to call Do-over. Like those mornings you drag your butt to work and your car is low on gas, you spill coffee on yourself, and you say the wrong thing to your boss.

I'm calling it on my so-called weightloss. I was so charged up when I lost 5 lbs. I've gained 2 back. I ate a couple things that taste good (peeeeeetzzza!) and didn't work out except once. So my mom reminded me of her old diet, and I want to give it a shot.

Protein based, but not like Atkins. It requires eating 6 oz of chicken or fish per day and I think that will help give my carb-ridden diet a boost. A couple years ago my mom lost 20 lbs in one month by doing this. Of course, she gained weight back after 1 year, cause she went back to lots of carbs. Bread is a bit addicting. Together we will work on it, and keep eachother to it. I am getting ready for some motherly, good spitrited nagging.

All of this I want for my new goal: Get down to 180 in time for my friend's wedding in August. Look at us just 2 years ago! I thought I was so chunky here. Ha ha so delusional. I think I weighed 175??

I've GOT to look cute- Wedding after party in Vegas!

Here's to a new start.

My kid sounds like Bruce on Family Guy

2010-04-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

It's the "'ooooooohhh" noise just like this

Maybe Jake will have a career in voice-overs.

6 months old, and my heart is 10 sizes bigger

2010-04-16T20:13:00.000-07:00

My little guy isn't so little anymore. Now I'm calling him the Big Guy. Happy 1/2 birthday, baybee!

It is soooo weird to think about what was going on at this time 6 months ago today. When I woke it was 7:30. I totally flashed back to Oct. 16, 2009. I instantly thought," Wow, at 7:22 am, you were born." I remember a crying, purple and grey baby being placed on my chest. Looking at Jake with my body completely in shock, I thought he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. He was finally here!

Now I put the daunting task in front of myself: Write a letter! 'Scuse me while I pour my heart out.

My little Jacob,
Each day has been an adventure. Even days where we just hang out around the house, and you nap in the swing, or talk to the bears on your walker. There have been days where we've gone to the park, you've been all around the town and seen absolutely everyone. You've experienced much in your short life. You have been through your parents' separation, you've moved in with your grandparents, and you adjust like a champ. I don't know what I'd do without you. You have my heart, you are my little buddy and you save me when fustration with my life tends to envelop me. A smile from you melts me and makes me feel I have to pull it all together so you can have a strong mama. Jake you have made me a better person. I feel God gave you to me to be your mama. I am excited to watch you grow. I am so curious to hear how your voice will sound, how you will look as you grow. I have so much more to show you. I will teach you how to be kind, share, be strong yet gentle, love even when it hurts. And God might teach you more of that than me. I am still learning.

You are my precious little baby, and you always will be. I don't care if you are 40. I will always take you into my arms and sing to you and stroke your hair, and watch your eyes close in sleep.

I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything. I love you forever.

Love always, your Mama

My pop psychology i learned from the baby

2010-04-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

Jake is trying and trying so hard to crawl right now. Countless slips and face-plants, and he still keeps going.

(with lots of drool for extra measure. and I've totally got to pick up all the stuff on the floor)

It got me thinking- each day, you have to try. You don't think about it, you just do it. Every day we are growing (babies are, literally) and there are new things to do. Push yourself, and when it gets hard, have a good cry. But still come back to it and do it until you've mastered it.

I think I admire my baby.

I leave you with a pic of my soon-to-be-crawlers-booty. I mean, are those fish on a baby's butt? Yes. Adorable.

The Cure-All for the Emo baby...

2010-04-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

Swing love. Aaah I will have to shed tears when he's too big for the swing.
Moody baby was fussing and crying, then I'd look at him, and he'd smile. This game repeated for a good 5 minutes, and I decided it was a sign for a nap. 2 minutes later, bliss! I don't know what we'll do when he finally goes to Daycare.

Fisher Price, you hit it right on the money.

They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. ::chuckle:: name that movie!

Tourist! Part 2

2010-04-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

Family Madness. All I can say of a trip to the desert with 2 younger brothers and their families, and my mom. So we drove out the the Anza Borrego Desert, traipsed around the visitor center, posed for funky family photos (they will kill me if I post one) and ate lunch in a wind tunnel of palm trees.

The picnic area was void of anything but, uh, picnic tables.

No trash cans, no fire pits. No sweat, we brought a propane grill. Minus a working propane can. Hotdogs were on the menu. While we all voluteered to eat cold hotdogs on buns (ew), mom decided to light a fire in the propane grill. My brothers rustled up some wood, and with the wind a blowin' Pioneer Mom light a successful fire in the grill (she blocked the wind with the grill cover. I was surprised. I thought for sure the palm tree was going up in flames, and I was planning how to get the baby and scram). Warm hotdogs and Gatorade, and we were ok with that. Then my nephew got a splinter in his hand.

Alex: "Owww owww oww! I got a splinter!

His dad: "Oh well you know how we have to get that out? We have to cut off your finger!"

Alex: NOOOOOOOOOO! (Hysterical panic that lasted 20 minutes ensued)

Following THAT, discussions on parenting styles/criticism/how to better handle your son.

I decided to get away, so I strapped Jake on me, and went for my desert "hike." With the sun high in the sky Jake melted into my back. Slathered in sunscreen, we just milled about for 20 minutes working on the tan. Cause really, unless everyone is super prepared, much of your group is gonna flake out when it comes to walking around in the heat.

After 2 more kids received splinters (no cutting of body parts required) we packed it up and headed for ice cream. Then onto the tedious search for elusive flowers. The flowers were mostly burried by shrub so we didn't see much. We did see these guys though.

How rad is that? Someone decided to create Mastadons out of metal and place them in the desert. Pretty random and cool. The best part of the trip was the ride home, when blessed sleep came over me and the baby. When I woke I was treated to a tri-tip steak sandwich, mashed potatoes, and ice tea.

Fabulous. We should do this more often!

McFatty Victory is Mine!

2010-04-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

Aaah yes people, I'm on my way. Ever wake up wanting to get on the scale? I did. And the result is so fabulous...5 pounds lost in 1 week! I attribute it to some 1.5 mile walks with baby on board.

Also, this website is the best thing for keeping track of anything fitness related (and it's free. and bumpies over 200 lbs, we are in a group). I entered my stats and it told me how many calories I need to burn per day, etc. And I've been logging what I eat (except for this weekend, when I totally cheated). I think I may go exercise right now, cause it is feeling good.

I love looking down and seeing lower numbers on a scale.

Marla, ya big Tourist! Part 1

2010-04-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

I live in a town I can be a tourist in. And yes, I quote lines from Fight Club. The Kiddo and I went everywhere this weekend-from ocean to desert. And when we went to the desert and saw the flowers on the side of the road, my mom almost peed herself. We pulled over the 3 car caravan we had going, so mom could jump out of the car and have a few pics taken. Prompting my brother to say, "Get back in the car, ya tourist."

Couldn't blame her; it was pretty.

More on that later...

Right now it is time to represent my military town with pics of the USS New Orleans, cruising into the background...

Dreadful picture of me, but the ship sneaking in behind made me post.

Since we were down at the waterfront, we played on the grass,

then walked into Seaport Village, where there's a Coney Island-style Merry Go Round that I love.

It's a little different from the city's other Merry Go Round at Balboa Park. Jake has now been on both, cause apparently that is my thing.

Now I must show you Merry Go Round face

Priceless.

sweet victory

2010-04-08T14:41:00.000-07:00

I'm celebrating a 1.5 lb weight loss with a popsicle. Totally reminds me of sitting on my back porch as a kid having a sweet cold treat. Back then I ran around playing with friends and running through sprinklers in the hot sun. I didn't have to exercise to enjoy a popsicle. It came with summer.

This summer shall include many more popsicles.

Fun time!

2010-04-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

my other blog is something kinda cool. It is a Hair blog. I first created it when I was doing booth rent. I put the web address on my business cards. Since I'm now more freelance, I changed up the blog. I added before and after pics, and will add tutorials and tips/tricks, product recs and giveaways.

I'd loooooove to hear your salon horror stories! What fun is goin to the salon if you can't share with your hairdresser? Hop on over to Shear Love and comment on the LOVE icon post (it is the most recent).

If there's anything you want to hear about as far as color questions, etc., just let me know :)

Happy birthday, dear doggie

2010-04-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

My dog Mikita is now 15 years old. For those that are wondering he's a keeshound/shepard mix. That's my old boy, best friend, and 1st "baby." I took him home from the shelter when he was 6 months old. Unknown to me at the time, I rescued him 1 day before he was scheduled to be put to sleep. He is the best dog a girl could ever hope to have, and to celebrate his many returns of the day we took a picture:

oh yeah. so excited to be next to the baby. The baby who took my affection away. He is a jealous dog. Always has been. I've never minded; I just pile on more love. Even though a real baby now rules my heart, dear doggie, I will never stop loving you. Looking to a few more good years with you, boy. I'm so happy to be your mama.

Easter Candy is my downfall

2010-04-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

It will be the death of my weightloss soon. I just inhaled a Cadbury egg, and 4 purple peeps! And they were delicious. Last night I had boysenberry pie for a midnight snack. All this sugar to fuel my new obsession: blog designing. I want to create more blogs just so I can use more elements and papers for backgrounds.

I'm curious though, how is this page viewing on your computer? The background I made has more colors and I'm just seeing the closeup view on my computer.

Sadly, I have to go. I have a baby and a life that need attending to. Happy Good Friday and early Easter wishes!

2am and what am I doing?

2010-04-02T02:07:00.000-07:00

Working on my blog. I have had a crash course in HTML yet again (but I'm weird and kind of like learning it). Pardon the mess! I tossed the off-center background together just to have something there. The label buttons are next. Oh, and if you are wondering where my new skillz came from it's cause, well, I'm just rad.

But really, this woman rocks- Amanda hooks you up with step-by-step tutorials and makes it all a little easier to understand. Not to mention a couple digital scrapbooking kits and you are in biznezzz (sorry, its late).

Check it out, comments/ideas are well received here. Well I think its time to answer my bed. It is calling. Good night!

Obsessed with making blog stuff

2010-04-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

yay this is fun! I'm adding a new button; feel free to grab it.

Words cannot describe

2010-03-31T11:18:00.000-07:00

This is the face my son makes when he is very, very excited about something. The sounds oooooh, ooooh ooooh! go with it. Like a little gorilla.

I'm very pleased to finally capture this look. I feel as though I've been on some photography stakeout in the wild, capturing the baby in it's natural habitat.

Oooooh Yeah

2010-03-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a great week of milestones we've been having. Jake sleeping through the night in his crib, and now I can finally report I made some progress of my own.

That's right. I lost 2 lbs. I've got to thank Metta and Blair for their encouraging comments last week. It did something to my brain. I pushed through and like Nike used to love to say, "Just do it." So, I did it. I exercised. I strapped the kid into the carrier and we pounded out a mile or two at the zoo. We walked the neighborhood. And I didn't eat as much fast food.

I'm on my way! to my goal weight. Right now the goal is 180. Ideally, it is 150. One step at a time. I am now dreaming of wearing this...

and going to places like this...

and if I keep going on this path, I wil be there! And yes, skinny feels good but I'm sorry nachos taste good. I will still throw in some treats along the way or else lose my mind ;)

It happened! It happened!

2010-03-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Picture me please jumping up and down with the crazy enthusiasm of a 5 year old in pig tails. Cause that would be how I feel.

Last night was the night. Like a big boy he slept through the night in his crib. So completely awesome. I will tell you why.

Brought into this world with bed-sharing parents, he spent the last 4 months sleeping with mom and dad. Crib was used for playtime. I'd set him in there and wind up his mobile and watch him kick his legs to the music. Playtime turned into a sometime-naptime. He was gettin comfy in the crib. He was warming up to it.

Recently, he's been given a bassinet. He had a few naps in it, and spent the night in it a couple times. He liked it enough, but the kid likes to sprawl. For a tiny one, he takes up space. So he'd be asleep and try to throw his arms above his head. Lo and behold the crying baby who just hit the sides of his bassinet while sleeping.

Well, the lightbulb went on. Put the bassinet in the crib for a night. Hello, transition! The bassinet sat flat in the crib and baby stared at the mobile and cooed. He had a binkie and the bear lovey, and passed out. Woke at the usual 1 am for some food, and was up at 4 (then wanted to play in the Jumperoo). A whole night in sleepful happiness. So all I did different last night was remove the bassinet. Uh yeah, yay lightbulb! Best.night.ever.We both slept better cause he didn't wake himself by hitting the bassinet.

The best part: After a 4 am feeding, I got back to sleep until a glorious 7am cause the baby went back to sleep in the crib. When I woke he was happy kicking aound in the crib and not crying. I'm pleased to report mama and baby are having a great non-sleep-deprived day.

Non-Professional pictures

2010-03-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering if I'm the only one out the who doesn't want to shell out money on professional pics.

Easter is coming, and I have in mind a certain setup: Jake in his little easter outfit, sitting on a blanket at the nearby park, near the flowers. Ideally, he will be smiling and the air will be warm. I will take many glorious pictures and edit them so they at least look like they are semi-professional knock-offs. My baby will be cooing and happy, and not disolve into tears when mama takes too long cause she is a little nutty like that.

:Crosses fingers:
Maybe only in my dreams? ha ha wish me luck! and if you obsessively take photos like I do, send your photog tips this way!

Queen of de Nile

2010-03-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

ooooh Dude. I got on the scale. I have been avoiding this for so long...about a month now. And um,cough cough I'm 2 lbs over my pregnancy weight. Damn.

After delivering, I lost weight for a month. I breastfed. Then I supplemented. At 2 months I gave straight formula. And noticed my pants felt tighter. And ignored it. Then despite my weight loss efforts, my weight stabilized. For 2.5 months. I used a measuring tape to track any progress on my body and those measurements stayed the same. I thought, well, whatever it's ok to eat some more Oreos cause my body is just slow and I'll work this off. I haven't gained any weight.

Psh.

And I place the blame on all the funky life circumstances going on but really, I'm an emotional eater. I don't mind that too much. Cause I figure I will exercise cause that is my key. But dang it it never quite happens.
So here I go shame faced posting my true weight in this blog for a reality check:

da da da dah! 207 lbs. Aw shizzzz... now I really do want to run...away from that big-bellied number. Anything to get that number down.

Packed our life

2010-03-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

We have moved...back into my parents house (well baby and I did anyway). ASAP. Like over the last couple days. Jake's dad changed jobs due to the incident of his employer not paying his due commission. Rent $ what? This means the beebee and I had to go to my parents' house an hour away, and daddy will job hunt and crash on someone's sofa.

2 years ago I lived with Mom and Dad for about a year. Thought I was done with that :). Well hopefully things will get back on track soon. I was faced with the fun of PACKING AN ENTIRE HOUSE. Since Jake's dad works very late he asked my help to handle this. Holy crap the baby and I have lots of stuff. Thank God for family. They helped so much. Mom helped me pack, and Jake's dad's brother loaded us up and shipped us out.

Now I'm a single mommy and living at home...again. This is all too weird. The Daddy (Jake's) will see him sometimes, when he's not completely absorbed with trying to help start a company or whatever job he finds. Life is funny like this. Its about to be a little different and tonight I just feel....sad and a litttle lonely. I busted my butt and argued and cried over the last couple days. Now I can be quiet, and relax and let things settle in. I miss my little family, in the place we first brought the baby home to.

Jake's big day

2010-03-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a Very big day for Jake.

He went to Balboa Park, where his father and I have each gone many times when we were kids (great thing about growing up in the same town-you have similar childhood experiences). Here is a lovely photo-story of yesterday. The day Jake went on a Merry-Go-Round, rolled from back to belly, and grabbed his private parts, all in the same day. ha ha. All of it two days before he turned 5 months old.

I remember a childhood photo of my mother and me on these same steps, at the Museum of Natural History

One year, my brothers and I posed in front of 3 statues and gave it to my mom for a mother's day present. Here we are in front of "my" statue

My grandparents used to take me on the Merry-Go-Round, and I looked forward to doing the same with my baby. Jake was a little scared, but daddy comforted him.

We put him on the baby horse but he's not big enough to ride yet

Time to chill out on the lawn by the botanical gardens

Then start the walk to the car to head home

Next time, we will go on the mini train ride that I haven't been on since I was a kid.

Having a little one is fun- you get to be a kid again, too.

How to scare your baby out of rolling

2010-03-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

scared roll -back to belly from Jake's mom on Vimeo.

Fast forward to the 40 second mark

We were so proud. 2 weeks ago he rolled from belly to back, now he's going back to belly. Sometimes encouraging them along breaks their concentration ha ha ha

Sicky

2010-03-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

What do you get when mama, baby, and daddy have a cold? All three, passed out in bed, snoring along to the humidifier and coughing now and then. I felt sweetly nostalgic about this the other night as it happened. Like hold onto this, things are changing-this won't last forever-its the first time we've all been sick together, how sweet. lets all go pass out.

Or you get last night where the baby fell asleep at 6 pm, only to wake at midnight and have me stay up playing till 3 am.

Poor beebee is congested (no fever). Mr. Fussers is now pouting on my lap, unhappy with the baby Tylenol and smell of Vapo rub. He does not want to be set down. He only wants to be held or else a tantrum ensues. A bit of fresh air always helps you feel better, and let's face it I need my coffee. 4 hrs of sleep when sick doesn't cut it. So we will have a stroller ride to the corner coffee shop in a few. All I can think of is that phrase I've heard hard working moms say: "I don't get to take a sick day." So to all you other tired or sicky moms, this cup of coffee is for you.

Anyone watch "House" last night?

2010-03-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

It was an interesting episode, primarily because the sick character was addicted to blogging. She's on the hospital bed, with an option of what kind of tube to get put inside her. She asks her husband to hand her the laptop. He asks why. She says she wants to get other people's opinions.

This is where I died. Her husband looked like he was going to as well.

This blogging world is an interesting one. One where you can become jealous, as explored by Marta, via Blair. Sometimes it is an instant celebrity-wanna-be-kind-of-thing, and one I struggle with- I kind of want people to like me! I am being a downer; am I funny? Only in my head? Well, ok. At least I get me. Basically I like to ramble on and sometimes instead of keeping a pencil and paper journal, it is so much easier to type it out.

As long as you can keep to your own set of rules (I'm not putting all my junk out there to share, cause sometimes I have to censor some of my thoughts. Not everything that goes through this mind is suitable for public fodder, ya know?) I respect the thoughts of others when it comes to sharing, such as friends not wanting me to post pics of their kid on the internet and so on. Ya gotta have a level of respect for those around you.

In house, the husband asks his sick wife not to share. Later, after some twists and turns, he hands her the laptop. He knows she's got to write it down.

I love it.

rollin rollin rollin

2010-03-03T17:57:00.001-08:00

roller from Jake's mom on Vimeo.

California Dreamin

2010-03-03T12:12:00.000-08:00

Morgan at the lovely 818 has made a sticker that I just adore. Reminds me of all the 70's California memoribilia my dad has.

Super Awesome! I post it with pride.

Chew Toys

2010-03-02T10:41:00.000-08:00

Also known as mom's face.

Let's not forget the hair pull

Let me see YOUR teeth

I own you, mom

Mcfatty! week 7?

2010-03-01T09:06:00.000-08:00

Many excuses come across my mind for no weight loss...but honestly life has been throwing me some major curve balls lately. I don't eat when depressed. I eat when I'm angry. I like the sensation of chomping up crunchy food -taking out my anger on some poor carrot stick. So lets just say I've eaten a few more carrot sticks than usual and cut back on some other stuff cause I didn't feel like eating.

The result being, my measurements are pretty stable on the body, but I feel lighter. I strapped Jake into the carrier a couple times this week and hoofed it up a couple of hills down the street. That felt good. It is prompting me to want more.

I guess the one major thing that makes me feel it is time to really accomplish something is Time. Uh, on week #7 or 8 I dunno. But thats 7 or 8 weeks and I haven't done much but plateau early. Time for more to happen. I know I can kick that stupid plateau in its face if I chug more water (I used to love it but I am not liking our new PUR water purifier so I'm not drinking as much. Oh wait, uh, excuse?) and just get out more. I know this, because I have done it before. For me, if I keep moving, my body changes. Regardless. Then I become a lazy sloth and it just comes back.

Good luck to all who need to push through the plateau! You can do it! Now I ask myself, can I?

Its all about the hair

2010-02-26T10:46:00.000-08:00

As a new mom, you can fall into a funky looking slump kinda quick. I'm all for the ponytail, baggy sweats, and sneakers. But after a few days of this, I look in the mirror and realize I look like ass. My job requires me to look put together and super-cute (for those that didn't know I'm a hairstylist) so on go the skinny jeans (ouch) and cute loose top, and some little ankle booties right now.

And the hair. lets not forget the hair. I was growing out a modified A-line cut and it was SHAGGY and started to look triangular. Last night (I'm the spontaneous client!) I called up my friend and said do you have time I need you NOW. Brought the babe to the salon cause he's pretty chill and got the okay from the stylist.

We trimmed up the back just a little and connected it to the front- so now its pretty even and reaches the base of my neck. The top A-line became soft layers that land near the eyebrow instead of the middle of my cheeks. It gave my hair more lift, and the bottom gets cute and flippy cause we removed weight and my hair has a little natural wave. I am loving it! Oh, and it made my color look soooo much better. I do have to style it. This morning I combed it wet and left the house. It is cute and wavy, but I want to straighten it.

I will post some pics later on, but getting a cut just made my day and made me look so much better! Call your local stylist (or if you are in San Diego, call me ha ha) and feel better instantly.

Faces

2010-02-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

I love my son. The faces this kid makes are beyond cute to me. I wonder what he will look like when he's older. Now at 4 months, this is what we look like...

The I'm Annoyed

Serene

Happy

Bored

Crazed

Excited

Tired

Hungry

Proud

And while this goes back to 1 month it is a favorite...
Loved

Blog Re-vamp

2010-02-24T10:46:00.001-08:00

So I'm having lots of fun using Power Point as my picture editor (see the header) and I think I'm now addicted to creating headers!

I'm liking the new layout. What do you think?

Hungry fella?

2010-02-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

I saw this video and died. It was a reminder of all the pregnant cravings and how ravenous I was. I've got nothing on this guy though.

For your viewing pleasure, skip to the 2 minute mark:

Lazy Sunday

2010-02-21T15:52:00.000-08:00

I am realllllyy lazy today. I woke at 11 am. Unheard of. The daddy got up with him early (I heard grumbling but passed back out). This left me with sleep I was hoping for. Later baby and I took a happy bath, and he grew tired. After I put him in the swing for a nap, I turned up the hot water and lounged in the tub.

The baby still sleeps and I play on the internet, still in my robe. I stare at the piles of laundry that won't put themselves away and (inhale) I don't care. he he! Perhaps all my car stress of the past few days has worn me down. The car is fixed by the way. Now I don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

I have to do something or this Dr. Pepper I drank will have given me a buzz that went nowhere. My caffine has to be productive, people. Chug enough and you should use that energy, no? Well, whatever today.

Happy lazy sunday everyone!

Grunting and rambling

2010-02-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

grr snort hmmm grr

I have an older car. If 1998 can be considered old. My Explorer has been trusty and true until the recent years. Now, it has bits that die. And since I am working part time, the ones that help in emergencies are the baby daddy or my parents. Neither is the optimum choice. So here we are today, with a dead alternator. Have't cried to Mommy yet.
Yesterday it was the battery. Was dead, had AAA pay me a visit. Diagnostic check said dead battery. Insert and pay for new one, ok, good to go.
Drive home at 8pm and see the lights on the dash flicker, the window get stuck, and the car start lurching. With baby and his daddy in the car. Make it into my parking space at home and feel the car die. Try to turn it on, and get that oh-sheeeit-not-again cranking noise. Dead battery. Call the mechanically-inclined family member. Hello- it is your alternator.

Note to self:
Alternators keep the battery going. If it dies, your battery will not maintain its charge and will die also.

Awesome family member will try his best to fix it tonight after work.

Sigh. Cancel Friday baby sitter, no work today
Consider cancelling hair appointments and going to friend's baby shower tomorrow. Consider calling the parents tomorrow. In debt to them forever. They are the last option.
Call AAA to see if I can get my old battery back or reimbursed for the new one. It came with a warranty, so I should see a positive result in this.

mmkay weird

2010-02-17T19:04:00.000-08:00

I'm watching Jake's eyes follow something across the room..nothing is moving, no shadows flickering. He's tripping me out. They say babies can sense spirits and I'm inclined to believe it.

What do you think? Can the innocent sense things us jaded older people don't?

My Angel

2010-02-15T15:28:00.001-08:00

This was originally received via email, but I couldn't resist posting it here.

A baby asked God,
"They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have
to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words
you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will
teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach
you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said,
"Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, " Mom ."

McFatty 6- I gotta fess up

2010-02-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

I joined up in posting my weight on the internet every Monday to keep me accountable for weight loss. Unfortunately this means good news and bad.

I spent the night at the Parents' house last night and eagerly jumped on the scale. I jumped off just as quick as I got on.I gained 5 lbs in the last month. boo.

Guess its time for me to suck it up and buy a scale. I resisted cause I know I will want to weigh myself every day and therefore mess with my mind. But ignorance is no longer bliss and I feel like a big ol' chunk who needs to buy a few shirts for work cause nothing fits.

Off to the store I go!

Rainy Monday

2010-02-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

Hopping aboard the McLinky Blog Hop Train! Woo woo!

Anyway, its Income tax return time, baby. Bills are getting paid, Mommy gets to do booth rent, Daddy went out, and baby gets some more toys. I forgot that the government gives you a benefit for having a baby. :).

So we went for dinner (counts as Valentines) tonight and it started to rain while we were out. I stuck to the surface roads for safety. I looked forward to sleep and then crawled into bed with the kiddo, only to wake up a minute later cause he wants to play. We sit here after playing-him with a bottle and me patiently waiting for the opportunity to soak in a hot tub. Aaaah rain on the roof, full bellies, cozy bed and hot bath. So Lovely.

Hello, food

2010-02-08T11:41:00.000-08:00

Bye bye weight loss!

I think that is how my body wants to do this- eat pretty normal, but cut the exercise and we have reached Stabilization.

Not going anywhere, up or down. My body has always been pretty good at stabilizing. Work has been my only exercise. I should bust out the Shred DVD again. ::sigh::
On the plus side, I did squeeze my cheeks into another pair of pre-preg pants and they looked GOOD.

So, new goals this week are to:

Pound the water- pretend I'm pregnant again and chug a gallon a day.
Exercise via walking or shred at least 2x
Start logging some of the stuff I'm eating. Well, I know what I'm eating I just don't want to see it on paper cause I know it could be better.
Get my positive attitude rollin with this.

Vote for Ubbies!

2010-02-06T21:25:00.001-08:00

My adorable boy is entered in a modeling contest. Click on the link to submit your vote for Jake!

Vote for me in this contest!

Contest details

He's a walking kind of guy

2010-02-05T18:39:00.000-08:00

Wow, I've just realized it's been a few days since I posted anything. Lots of stuff going on over here...re-vamping my job desires and likes and realizing I have control over my working fate...more on that later. Possibly moving; again more later. Right now much planning and picture taking is goin on. I uploaded an embarrassing 600 pictures to my computer last night. Guess who they were mostly of? That's right, this little guy:

"Who me?"

Yes, you, you little ham. He no longer smiles when he sees the camera in hand. He stops whatever he is doing and stares. So I get tons of pics like the adorable one above. However, I can sneak in a quick one when he's distracted and get something like this:

Enter the Walker. Daddy wanted him to walk early. Well, really the kid likes to stand all the friggin time, so why not put him in a seated "standing assistant"? Ha ha that's my term, don't trademark it or anything. He can push himself backward when he's wearing shoes, and it just makes his little day.

Enter the Pediatrician. He gave the red light on the walker (boo) cause it can put undo stress on his little hips. Okay, I see that and far be it for me to put him in a position of harm. Except that he is standing in that walker, or, he's standing on me. And sometimes we all need a break. So, I took off the shoesies and put him in footie pants so he can't try to go anywhere.

Ok, no traction, but he still loves it. He talks to his bears all the time. I've named one Brian (he has a B on his chest) and the other Patrick. I don't know why. Mom is weird. Jake doesn't care. This works well.

Lets just nom on the bear blanket instead.

Out Of Control

2010-02-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

Gah! I'm addicted to constantly changing my header and background. It's like when MySpace 1st came out and I just went off with a new background everyday. Constantly playing until I found something I could be content with. I'm a little nutty like that.

In honor of the upcoming Vday, I've gone with the blurry pics and cheesy heart. Check back later, and you may see something else!

McFatPants Monday...

2010-02-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

I guess it should come as no surprise that we all cheat with diets. I am a huge offender. I didn't even post an update last week because I felt huge and ashamed. However!

With the start of a new, kind of physical job, and not getting the opportunity to nosh on goodies all day long, I'm down half an inch again! My Pre-Pregnancy pants....drum roll please...fit with the a belt on the 2nd notch. A couple weeks ago I was lucky to fasten at the 1st notch. Success!

Now, I must get back to my lounging around in my sweatpants (aka favorite fat pants) cause honestly, they are still the only truly comfy pants I own.

Who's your Daddy

2010-01-30T21:58:00.000-08:00

Off to work I go...
It has been so nice to start working again. I get to do what I love, make a little money, and have adult conversations. I worked my booty off today, and feel it all over my body. Standing for more than a few hours at a time can do you in if you are not used to it. However, my body is adjusting and I feel my abs and legs getting stronger. So yay, work!

The downside of work, is missing baby. I called my fabulous Sister-in-Law (who is my Saturday sitter) and heard him in the background. He was standing up (being held of course) going "OOooooh" like a little owl. I could just picture his little face, and how he throws his arms out. I couldn't wait to see him, and rushed over as soon as I was off work.

He digressed into a fit of teething from that happy phone call. Unconsolable. Purple face. Crying so hard his mouth hardly moved. Nothing soothed, except strapping him into the carseat to go. Then quiet! Told him we were going to see Daddy. He looked at me like he knew what that meant. When we got home, he relaxed only with Dad. Every time I touched him, pure screaming and tears. Oh joy. I was looking forward to holding him, but he was not in the mood. Babies know what they want (and who they want), even when we have no clue!

Uberdoos! Pictures

2010-01-26T12:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been feeling like posting pictures of my big guy. So let's have a few today, shall we?
They are about a month old, cause I need to upload some more. Still, I love these.

Jumperoo!

Kicking up a storm

2010-01-21T11:46:00.000-08:00

Well Jake was earlier, cause he LOOOOVES to kick. The boy has strong legs.
Now, I'm talking about my windows shaking, and bits of tree whipping by the glass. Pounding rain. And roads flooding and accidents happening by the ton cause we don't know how to drive in the rain. Which is funny when you consider this is a state filled with people transplanted from rainy states...

SoCal has a storm here, people! And I know everyone in the snow is just laughing at me. I know, I know, go ahead, laugh. I've lived in the snow and it sucks. For some reason, I feel the need to be all " Hey everyone, it rains in Southern California! Look! See?"

Yes, as we have established before, I am 5.

In other news, sicky baby has passed out sitting in my lap while I type. Gold stars to me for typing this post one-handed.

We had vaccination shots yesterday which he handled like a trooper. Happy baby in the waiting room, with the doc, and only cried for a couple min after the shots. I gave him baby Tylenol right then and there to combat any pain and signs of fever. Today he is moody as hell and acting like he was in bit of pain. I decided to stay home with him. The doctor discovered 2 teeth coming in on the bottom so I bet this adds to the cranky factor.

I think a nap and a movie are perfectly called for today.

It's all about the S's

2010-01-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

Lately with the baby, it seems that everything his dad and I say ends in an S. Most of the time it's when talking to the baby, but now I've crossed the line and it extends into my regular vocabulary. Here are some fine examples:

Oh Yeses! vs. Yes
Ohs! vs. Oh
Blankies vs. Blanket
Binkies vs. Pacifier
Bouncins! vs. Bounce
Der 'em goes! vs. There you go (invented by his daddy-I love it)
Hungries vs. Hungry (my personal favorite that I invented)
Jacobs! vs. Jake
Ubbies! (well these 2 are nicknames)
Ubbermans!

Note how all these things seem to end in an exclamation point. Cause talking to the baby is so much more exciting I guess? We speak to him without much baby talk except for this lovely bit.

Great huh? No wonder why I used to think that people with kids were just a little bit strange.

Work out, what? Update 2

2010-01-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

"I can't heaaaar youuu!"

This is me putting my hands over my ears going "lalalahlah" when I tell myself to work out.

It hasn't happened this week, and I'm scared to get the measuring tape out. I've been eating wonderful, wonderful food this week. Danish with coffee every am. Oreos. Lobster. We went grocery shopping the night before last and finally got food in the house. Honestly, when you need to grocery shop, doesn't it just sound better to hit up the drive-thru? Or go to a restaurant cause its payday? Yah, me too.

I think I gained back that 1/2 inch that I lost. Good news is, after looking at Blair's progress picture, I got inspired. I started thinking, she looks good, I can do it, too. I will bust out some push-ups today, if nothing else. Hooray for Mc Fatty Mondays-it has already motivated me to do better. :)

Heaviness. And I don't mean my weight.

2010-01-17T17:56:00.000-08:00

This week has had a lot going on. Some good some bad. 1st, I got a job. Yay! I feel so accomplished. Working part-time, cutting hair and have my fabulous sister-in-laws helping with watching Jake. I've already been to work 2x this week (just got off work an hour ago). It is fun, and the ladies at my salon are awesome. Jake is in good hands.

Jake turned 3 months old yesterday. His daddy bought him a little walker cause this kid is a kicker and wants to push off his legs All.the.freakin.time. He loves the walker! Pics to follow. He can push himself backward in it.

The other news is a bit more dire. My father has lung cancer. He had pain in his back, and went in for a catscan. Turns out, he has a ball of cancer in his lung, with other smaller bits orbiting it. A pit forms in my stomach just thinking about this. My dad's health has been great all his life. In fact, my family has been radically blessed in this area of life. We all suffer from being slightly overweight, but my grandma beat breast cancer when she was 75. Grandpa had heart surgery and is alive and well at 90. My parents have only suffered from high blood pressure as they have gotten older, and my brothers and I are fine.

To hear my mom say, "Your father has lung cancer" over the phone while walking into Chili's restaurant makes one loose an appetite. I talked to my dad, and got another story (denial?). He says the doctors don't know for sure yet, and are going to do a biopsy this week. They will find out the important things like treatment, and life expectancy. This is scary, but we are all taking it in stride. And doing some praying. I want my dad around.

Wow, sorry to bring you down. As you can see, its been a week that occupies the thoughts and changes things up a little.
Needless to say I've gotten no exercise and have been eating crap. MMMMMMMM. Tomorrow's weigh in is gonna be an aw-screw-it kind of thing.

McFatty Monday update 1

2010-01-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

Well here we are with a photostory today. In the effort to become more thin, I decided to walk more. So I put Jake in the baby carrier and away we went.

Up the hills, through the neighborhood for 40 minutes.

Come back home and feel accomplished and happy

Then, I see the dreaded Back Fat

::Sigh::

But, I can keep doing this and then the Back Fat will be no more!
I do not own a scale (evil creations) and feel like I can see more progress with a measuring tape. I won't be giving out all my measurements here, but I did loose 1/2" on the waist. I also lost 1/2" on the arms. Everything else stayed the same.

I did exercise 4x this week and that alone is a biggie. I walked 2x and did the 30 Day Shred dvd 2x. So yay me I rule! I did eat some junkfood this week and I won't harp on me too much for it, but I will be starting a food diary starting Today. Ever document everything you eat? I haven't.

Hmm this might be interesting.

R.I.P, maternity shirt

2010-01-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

In all my busty glory, I've gone and ripped one of my maternity shirts. A Maternity shirt. Already worn and roomy while pregnant. Now,post-partum there appears to not be enough room.

How embarrassing. I noticed when giving a haircut today. Thank goodness my client was only my blind 90 year old grandpa.

Smili'n Guy

2010-01-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

AKA Jake, Jacob, Ubbies, Ubberman, Mr. Ubs. Made very happy by mom and dad when being bounced up, and overhead. I feel it will be in my future to give lots and lots of airplane rides.

Today's Theme: The Rudeness

2010-01-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

Aah the attitude of entitlement. I think it sucks. and I just Wish I had my camera today when at the parking lot of Barnes and Noble. I was packing the stroller into the car when a zippy little Mini Cooper pulls in next to me, and proceeds to take up 2 parking spots. Parked diagonally across them. I figure the driver didn't quite get the parking angle right so when she stepped out, I say, "Uh, you may wanna re-park." With a smile no less.

Her answer: "Eh, does it really matter?"

Wow. My answer: "Well, it's kinda rude."

To this she shrugged and walked away.

I'm thinking yeah, it matters cause its a busy parking lot and even though there were other spots, what makes her so special? Sorry lady, just cause your are old and grey doesn't cut it. If we all thought like you then no one would have a parking spot.

Cut to this evening when out for a walk at the park. I'm wearing Jake in a baby carrier. Our park has a dog park, and you walk through it to get to the other side of the trail to home. Plus it is fun to show my son all the different dogs. Having been a dog owner for a billion years, I know you gotta correct (or at least call your dog) when he tries to jump on a passerby. There is always that one dog owner who thinks he is the exception.

A big lovey boxer came bounding over with his eyes on Jake, and jumped up on my right side, paws on Jake. I pulled away and said "Down." The owner looked on from 10 ft away and said nothing. I kept walking. Dog circles and tries to do it again. This time I hold out my hand and say "Down." Now the owner finally calls his dog. I can't think of anything to say to this dummy but in my head I'm yelling, "DUDE, I'M CARRYING A baby." I don't blame the dog but the owner. I mean if you are standing right there, come on! At least apologize or something.

On the upside, other than this douchnozzle, I went for a walk! Exercise feels faaaabbulous! I may have some weight loss to report for my post on Monday if I can keep this up!

I feel like being a picture whore

2010-01-05T20:55:00.000-08:00

Also cause he's just so cute.

This was his first time in a restaurant, at Denny's on New Year's Day for breakfast. He was such a good little guy!

Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said...

2010-01-05T19:51:00.000-08:00

(No more monkey's jumping on the bed!) No really, she said your baby has a viral infection. Splendid! Absolutely Mahhhvelous!

So since the Daddy had the day off, we took Baby to the doctors yesterday as early as possible- we got scared with projectile vomiting and the whole stuffy nose thing. Turns out, the congestion is normal, so was the vomiting (it clears out the clogged passageway) and he'd be fine... From the outside it looked like congestion but then she listened with the stethescope and heard a little raspiness.

She diagnosed some bronchialsoundingwhatnot-my english tells me Viral infection- and said it would clear up on its own but he'd be prone to catching it for the rest of his life. Grrrreeeaaat. As a kid, I got earaches frequently. It sucked. So he will have to deal with that kind of re-accuring illness beginning at 2.5 months old? LAME. On the plus side, we got to weigh him and my tiny beebee has grown into a hefty little man at 11.5 lbs! No wonder my arms are getting tired.

Well, his treatment is saline drops, which we were already using, and a baby asthma inhaler. Then just wait it out. The drops have helped. He's struggling a little with the breathing (he wakes up out of sleep shaking his head) but overall he's doing better than yesterday. The fun part of this is once we got back to the house his Daddy says, "My throat hurts." This from the man who never ever gets sick (once, really since the 3 years I've known him). So, baby, mama, and daddy makes for 3 tired ones sitting around the house.

I didn't want to be trapped in the house today-we need fresh air. so I took the kid up to the local park and caught this lovely view.

I leave you all with the beautiful sunset taken yesterday. OMG I love San Diego.

Oh, the McFatty Fattness...

2010-01-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

So enter in Blair (if you are from The Bump, you know and love our friend Blair) and her fitness challenge. Every Monday we compare notes and post weight and goals with the idea that it is great to have a support system. I agree. Loosing weight on your own can be incredibly hard.
But still my inner 5 year old is saying

I don't wanna do this...

But how else am I gonna loose the 40 lbs on my overweight frame? I bought the 30 day shred dvd and an infant carrier to put Jake into so we can peruse the neighborhood hills. FYI the Shred dvd halfway kills you. I did 5 days and wore myself out. I gotta learn to listen to my body (I'm 33 and STILL have not really accomplished this).

My challenge will be to listen to my body, know when to rest and when to drink water, and still push myself to get past the whiny 5 year old within. I'm up for it, and I need the support system.
My "ideal" weight for being 5"7 is about 150 lbs. I've only been down to 165, so I'm aiming for 160. I currently weigh 197.

So lets hit it! I will work out at least 5 days a week (ugh, where did the baby steps go?) and add in more fruits and veggies. I'm not killing carbs- the body needs them, but I will be cutting more processed sugars. I will adjust as time goes by. My body burns fat like a knife through butter when I'm working out, so I won't kill all the calories. If anything, I'm gonna aim for 1800-2000 calories a day (I'm trying to breastfeed here). Wish me luck and I will post pics of progress. Nothing like a little public embarrassment to motivate!

Peace out 2009

2009-12-31T20:33:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year

I still find it amazing I spent nearly all this year knocked up, and now hold my babe in my arms! Truely amazing, but now I can enjoy this...

I am hoisting this delicious drink tonight and I wish you all a safe and happy night. The resolutions will follow us all come tomorrow.

Jillian Michaels, you skinny bitch

2009-12-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

I will look like you. Or better. lol
I am on day 5 of the 30 day shred dvd and ALL of my leg muscles are achy. Ever feel it in the arches of your feet? Yah. Thats what jumping rope barefoot in your bedroom does. Feeling it in the hammies, glutes, inner/outer thighs, back, shoulders, arms, and ARCHES OF MY FEET. Yeesh. I am supposed to continue this?
I'm tempted to "phone it in" as she says and go for a walk instead today.
However, if you are a momma and doing this workout, take a hint from me. When it is time for the chest fly exercise, don't use the weights unless you want to be able to pick up your baby again. I "fly" Jake up and down over my head all the time and he loves it. So I decided to save those muscles so I can play with him. Besides, he's a good 11 lbs right now and only gonna get bigger. So yay to awsome arms via baby!

I felt soooooo good to work out again yesterday. It released tension and anger (why anger, I dunno) that I was carrying and I felt awesome. Till I realized I wore myself out completely and caught my son's little cold. Oh poor mama. The baby is doing much better. Although, I stayed up 3 friggin hours just constantly checking his breathing last night. I'm so paranoid. But he's good, now its my turn. So my thought is, I should ditch the workout today, recover and rest.
And eat biscotti and drink a little coffee :)
That's right, I have discovered how to make awesome biscotti. The last batch had cranberries and apples in it. So awesome. I dunno if its cause its winter or what but I'm on a baking thingy right now. Or at least wanting to cook. Last night I fired up the grill (hey yay! I can grill!) and made Fajitas. I put on chicken, red and green bell peppers, onions and tomatoes. Then cut some mangos into the Pace Picante sauce. Warmed some small corn tortillas, tossed in some cilantro, and it combined into a delicious feast. All that was missing was a beer. Tonight, I have no idea what we will eat, but I want to comb through recipe books now. I am not trying to eat healthy per se, but I do love fresh veggies, and food. Makes life taste good.

Nothing can pull the heartstrings like a sad baby

2009-12-29T08:38:00.000-08:00

My poor little guy won't burp. and he's still congested, even after sitting in a steamy bathroom and having a nasal aspirator shoved up his nose. He just now dozed off as I rocked him to sleep. Now we can all get some rest (till I have to move then this all starts again).

Why am I up? Oh yeah, the baby is up

2009-12-27T07:04:00.000-08:00

Oh baby why are we up at 5 am with so much energy? Daddy was kind enough to take you yesterday morning and give me 5 hours of precious sleep. I guess its my turn today. Please, be happy with a new diaper and food in your belly, and a turn in the swing or the bouncer.

Mama loves you. Please let her get in 2 more hours of sleep.

Well Hellloooo!

2009-12-26T00:47:00.000-08:00

So in my head, I have lots of cheesy accents goin on. So the title is my goofy younger brother being his lame self and making a face and moving his head side to side, while saying Hellllooo! Kinda like Jerry in that Seinfeld episode. But that hello is a little diferrent...

Ok so that first paragraph should tell you a lot about me- hmmm she's a little strange! ha ha I love to ramble and can get carried away. Focus and midnight and a very busy Christmas day don't all cumulate in me being too articulate. So this here is a miracle! Thank God my baby is passed out in his swing. We love the swing. I can not stress it enough. This blog will be a lovely tribute to the swing and all things that make my 2 month old happy. I can not help taking massive ammounts of pictures of my adorable son, and wish Santa had given me a new camera, but that will wait.

Welcome in to my sometimes dramatic, sometimes whiny, sometimes outright weird and silly nature. I thank you for reading. I will bless you with baby pics and stories of my boy "standing up big" and my being pulled out of my selfish self into his loving little world.

Merry Christmas! and to all a good night as I head to bed :)